Recently I began my first attempt to write a poem of my own. It's been something I've been dying to do for the past few years but I've never felt comfortable doing it. So about I week ago I finally got over my fear and forced myself to do it.
The topic I decided upon was one that had been troubling me for quite some time. The gist of the problem was that every day I felt like I was being consumed by myself (figuratively speaking). Every time I looked in the mirror I would have voices in my head criticize, my hopes, dreams, who I was etc. My mind would bring back the voices and words of people who had mocked me in the past. The torment became so unbearable that I began having trouble sleeping. I knew this had to stop, but I had no idea how.
The topic I decided upon was one that had been troubling me for quite some time. The gist of the problem was that every day I felt like I was being consumed by myself (figuratively speaking). Every time I looked in the mirror I would have voices in my head criticize, my hopes, dreams, who I was etc. My mind would bring back the voices and words of people who had mocked me in the past. The torment became so unbearable that I began having trouble sleeping. I knew this had to stop, but I had no idea how.
One night as I was getting ready for bed my thoughts turned
to something my Mother had told me. She said that the greatest problems
can be broken down through writing. I already knew what I needed to write about. Here is what I came
up with.
I hear their voices,
Soundless in my mind.
I feel their
presence,
The demons inside my
head.
They, mock, tease,
torment.
I feel their laughing
eyes,
Penetrating my heart.
They know me better
than I know myself.
My hopes, dreams,
fears.
They feed on what I
hold dear,
Consuming me.
I try to hide.
I cannot hide from
myself.
The other day I was watching a video on lds.org; the one I had
seen so many times I had practically memorized the entire film. Usually
my mind wanders, but this time it didn't. As I watched I noticed the part
where Jesus casts the devil out of the young boy. This may seem like a
little bit of a stretch, but I felt like he could do the same for me. Of
course, the breed of demons I'm experiencing are slightly different but the principle remains the same.
By writing I was able to see my problem in a new light.
It allowed me to make connections that helped me identify a solution. My solution was Christ. Although I was left empty and desolate, I knew
that I could become whole again through his everlasting love.
In summary, whenever you have something going on in your life that is troubling you, write about it. It may seem like a stupid thing to do, and I certainly thought so at first; but when you do it will make all the difference. Writing is a tool, or a key rather, to overcoming the greatest trials you will ever face.
In summary, whenever you have something going on in your life that is troubling you, write about it. It may seem like a stupid thing to do, and I certainly thought so at first; but when you do it will make all the difference. Writing is a tool, or a key rather, to overcoming the greatest trials you will ever face.
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